I found this on another site, apparently written by a ESPN writer. I found it a whitty read...also changed a couple words to make it F-150 online approved.

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People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has new billboards out that claim fishing is cruel. I totally agree. The last time I went, all I caught was a sunburn, three hooks in the back of my thigh and hell from my pals for forgetting the Off.

Unfortunately, this is not what PETA means. PETA means fishing is cruel to the fish. Seriously. PETA plans to put up billboards across the U.S. and in Canada that show a Labrador retriever with a hook in his bloody lip. IF YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TO A DOG, the signs say, WHY DO IT TO A FISH?

And, of course, the answer is: Because fish do not bring me my slippers.

Look, I wailed for the whales. I fumed over fur. I emotionally clubbed myself over the baby seals. But I'll be damned if I'm going to weep over a walleye.

PETA says fish feel pain and that to snag one with a steel hook, drag it along for 50 yards or so and then haul it out of the water so it suffocates is sick. "Why do we throw a Frisbee to some animals and a barbed hook to others?" PETA asks on its web site.

And, of course, the answer is: Because fish really suck at catching Frisbees.

PETA thinks it's evil to eat fish, too. But why should we stop eating them when they eat each other? Besides, they had their chance to evolve. They could've crawled out of the primordial ooze with us, but they didn't. They decided to stay behind and swim in the water they pee in and go around never blinking. When fish lift their scaly butts past us in the food chain, they can eat us. Until then, pass the tartar sauce.

PETA even says catch-and-release is cruel. They say the harm and stress caused by being caught and released is sometimes enough to kill the fish later on. As if the fish go straight into therapy after being caught.

Fish: I'm telling you, Doc, I was just minding my own business when I got hauled into the sky, examined by some weird beings and then thrown back!

Fish psychiatrist: Lemme guess. A UFO, right?

I mean, what's PETA going to do? You'll be sitting at the counter in the deli, and suddenly, the PETA police will come running in, shouting, "All right, back away from the tuna melt and nobody gets hurt!" My God, we're talking about fish here. Fish have a brain the size of a corn kernel.

Professor James Rose, a University of Wyoming neuroscientist, studied fish for years and determined that they lack a neocortex (parts of which process the brain's response to pain), much like boston fans . Besides, if fish are so smart, why can you catch a fish, throw it back and then, two hours later, catch the same fish? I mean, do you really want to save something dumber than Robert Downey Jr.?

Didn't Jesus fish? He seemed like a pretty sensitive guy. When He zapped up all those fishes for 5,000 people, what do you think He did with them, throw them back?

I know, I know -- I hate hunting. But sitting in the back of a pickup, taking a rifle with an infrared scope and killing a deer from 1,000 yards away is not nearly the same thing, as standing up to your spleen in icy rushing river water, trying to cast the perfectly tied fly into the perfect eddy to catch a rainbow trout. Is it our fault that the trout falls for it? Tell you what: I will get behind hunting when hunters come up with a shoot-and-release program.

Why does PETA stop at fish? Where does PETA stand on the plight of the worm? And plankton? And the 1,000,000 micro-organisms that are crushed by your boots every time you go on a nature hike? Have these PETA vegetarians ever gotten close to a broccoli to hear its screams as it's violently yanked from its birthplace and boiled to death?

Fishing is cruel? I always thought fishing was one of the most peaceful things you could do. What are fathers and sons supposed to do together, knit sweaters out of each other's navel lint? What are we supposed to read, Hemingway's Old Man and the Parking Lot?

I'll tell you one thing. Before I agree to this whole fish-human truce, somebody had better have a long face-to-face with the sharks about it. I say we send a bunch of PETA members down right away.

 

F-PETA. What has a fish ever done for me, other than try to choke me with a bone, sink a tooth into my finger, zap me with its stinger or give me mercury posioning? Kill 'em all, then grill them and feed the Labradors.

 

That was great. I was laughing so hard that I woke the wife unit up before her alarm went off.

You think PETA is extreme? Try waking up my wife a 1/2 hour early and feel the extreme wrath I would rather be caught by 10 PETA members with a club in one hand, and a bloody baby seal in the other.

 

I thought it meant People Eating Tasty Animals.

 

The PETA national headquarters is less than 20 miles from here in Norfolk VA.
As you can imagine we have moved way past a billboard of a fish with a hook in it's mouth.

Our local billboards show a c0ckroach scurrying about while a giant shoe hovers overhead.
The c0ckroach is saying, "Help me! Help me!".

The message from PETA at the bottom of the billboard just says,
'WATCH YOUR STEP'

 

Buckdropper! Your post is toooo funny! the P.E.T.A people have certainly lost their grip on reality!

 

it is not just PETA that has lost touch with reality....it is 50% of America (depending which color your state is).....

 

Yeah, I will never understand hunters- I don't see the "sport" in taking out a deer, bear, racoon, squirrel, pheasant, duck, etc. from 1,000 feet (Or if you can shoot like me- 1,000 meters) with a rifle with a high-powered scope and a laser-sight (I can do it with iron sights)... I mean really- where is the thrill in killing something you've baited with bags of corn weeks prior to your trip? Sick B@stards...

To make it truly sporting- go out there buck naked with nothing on but some boots, and long finger nails... Whatever you catch and can kill with your bare hands- you deserve to put above your mantle over your fireplace. That's sports, man versus beast, in a hand-to-hand struggle- winner take all.

Yes deer meat is good, but I can do without it- I have for 19 years... If they start selling it at Albertson's though, I'm there!
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But, since Goober will never let go of his "right" to hunt, and kill dem dere deers, I'll stop right here as far as hunting season goes...

But, fishing? 99.9% of us ARE going to eat the fish we catch; and those game fish are delicious... You won't find white perch, brim, bass, gar, grinner, buffalo, etc on the menu at Reb Lobster- and they are delicious.

If you are hunting to feed the family, or you intend to eat what you kill, then that's one thing. But if it's just for the sport, that's the only time I have issue with it... There is no sport in killing- and if you think there is, join the service and then you can go after the really big game... The only one cunning enough to evade you, harm you or even kill you before you kill it...

Humans...

 

Damn Hersh, I hate it when I agree with you. I used to work with a big game hunter that went all over the world bagging trophy's that he had stuffed and built a huge room for their display. I told him that a real man would have used a camera without a zoom. May be why I don't work there anymore.

 

Hunters don't bother me, there is a limited number of them.

Can you imagine if everybody hunted?
250 million armed hunters in the woods?

First of all, hunting season would only last one day, like Christmas.

Second of all, even if everybody only fired one shot each on hunting day, that would still be about 3,000 shots per second and the noise would be deafening.

Third of all, there ain't enough deer to go around.
The days of mounting a rack would be over.
Just getting an ear to mount would be considerd a prize.

Fourth of all, think of all the lead that would go through our digestive system.

 

You guys that crack on hunting just dont understand.

Most predators that kill these animals are usually in small numbers. While a deer can roam around a camp ground and every one thinks they are beautiful, A mountain lion or pack of wolves will usually get " The bullet" treatment.

This has caused a HUGE jump in wild life populations that no longer are kept in check by predators.

Deer hunting is legal here, and they still roam around in the pan handle in herds often numbering in the hundreds.



They destroy yards, fences, and some times ruin eco-systems. They also eat crops and pose a safety problem when you plow into them at 75 mph.


They have gotten so many geese at city lakes that they tried to "transplant" them to a different area, but they all came back. So, they finally had to poison them. 10s of thousands of them.

I know killing animals seems cruel, but its a neccessary evil.

 

Yeah, I had one run out in front of me the day after Thanksgiving on Highway 65 as I headed towards Natchez, MS. To have a deer run out in front of you at night is not uncommon, but in the day time- it's only happened to me twice in my 21 years as a licensed driver...

What I think is amazing is that- it seems the deer know when it's hunting season too... You NEVER hear of someone hitting a deer in June / July. But as soon as November-December comes, it happens a lot... The deer are smart enough to know that if they stand near the road, most hunters won't shoot at them...

They did population control on deer at Fort Hood in 1992/1993. The post was getting over run, and lots were being killed on 190 between Clear Creek Road and Copperas Cove, TX, so many that they put up a fence 7 - 10' high fence for the whole 7 mile stretch, down both sides- to keep the deer out of the roads...

I saw herds of deer at Ft. Huachuca too... I agree, sometimes it's a necessary evil, and yes- I'd rather see a dead deer- than a hurt/dead friend from one hitting their car/truck, but that still seems like a poor sport to me...

 

Not to mention the direct economic impact of deer overpopulation.

As a door to door goat salesman, you have no idea how many times I've heard,

"Why in hell would I buy a goat from you when I already got all these damn deer running around!"

 

You need to counter with

"The Advantages of Goats" by Dr. Capricornus.

Goats:

produce meat, mohair, cashmere,leather and milk;

weed control thereby reducing the dangers
and cost of herbicide use;

and don't forget....great goat cheese.

 

I had no idea there was so many things.
I need to get a bigger sample case.

When potential customers ask me about advantages, all I can think to say is,
"Goat Dung".

Then I open my sample case.