Even then, I'd hesitate to make that a rule. There was a kid in my dorm that use to drop trou' in a stall facing the porcelain. Used to be in there for hours making noises. Why he didn't just put a sock on his door and lock it I'll never understand

 

General rules:
1. Don't talk to somebody you don't know. You may chat quietly with an acquaintance, but must absolutely not call attention to yourself.

2. A quick glance in the mirror is permissible, but absolutely don't spend a significant time arranging hair, clothing, etc. Zit popping is only permissable after checking to see nobody else is around.

3. No profanity of any kind. This is reserved for locker rooms, only.

4. If you must wait, form a single-file line, ragged, and be sure to keep looking around. Read graffiti.


Graffiti rules:
5. All graffiti is anonymous. If there's any chance somebody can trace your graffiti back to you, don't do it.

6. Writing graffiti in the open section of the bathroom is only acceptable if nobody can see you. Writing in the stalls is similarly acceptable.

7. If the bathroom is sufficiently public, feel free to insult different ethnic/racial/sexual groups. If the bathroom is used by a small few, restrain comments to amusing anecdotes or chit-chat about secretaries. If visiting dignitaries from other companies or the government may tend to use the bathroom, graffiti is forbidden.

8. Traditionally, all pictures feature women in various states of undress. Modern standards often include portions of male anatomy, discretely placed. Homosexual graffiti is generally frowned upon but is gaining popularity.

9. Pictures must only be drawn in toilet stalls.

10. Any sufficiently interesting graffiti will be painted over by the management of the bathroom.


Urinal rules:
11. Given a string of unoccupied urinals, you must choose one on the outside. When one outside urinal is occupied, use the other side, then middle. Avoid standing directly next to somebody at all costs.

For example, given seven urinals, here are acceptable configurations:



X...... (X == occupied, . == empty)
X.....X
X..X..X
X.X.X.X
XXX.X.X <-- These are only acceptable when significant
XXX.XXX <-- "privacy" dividers are available. If the
XXXXXXX <-- urinals aren't divided, use a toilet.


12. Always look at the wall. Looking down means you're obsessed or don't know what you're doing. Looking at other people is threatening.

13. Flushing is optional. Over time, the water will become a rich orange. At this point, flushing is mandatory.

14. Don't start unzipping until you're protected by the privacy of the urinal. Don't step back until you've closed your pants again.


Toilet rules:
15. Reduce noise at all costs. Grunting is not acceptable.

16. Always flush.

17. When you find an unflushed toilet, leave it alone and use another.

 

This guy knows what he's talking about.

When there are 3 urinals together, don't jam yourself into the middle one, pick a side already (left or right) and leave some wiggle room between you and whoever else might be coming in. Don't be an inconsiderate urinator.

I hate when people pick the middle one too, forcing you to have to be within inches of a total stranger.

The worst one is when you use proper etiquette, you walk into the restroom, nobody is there and there's 3 urinals, so you pick the one on the left...then some dude comes in and uses the one right next to you when he could've used the one to the right and left a healthy buffer zone between you.

Why? Why? What's wrong with these people?

It's different when the restroom is full and it can't be helped, but I've got SBS (Shy Bladder Syndrome) and I have a tough time letting that first drop come out when there's some total stranger standing 10 inches to my left, all because he didn't exercise proper urinal etiquette.

Now, I wonder, Blue, when you walked in and saw the dude with his pants on the floor, did you laugh out loud?

I would've said something to the dude, but that's because the filter in my head that seperates what I'm thinking and what comes out of my mouth doesn't always work properly.

 

Sometimes there is no other option and the choice comes down to either crapping your pants or
- having to lift up your right leg and flush the toilet with your foot being careful not to touch the flush handle with any part of your shoe except for a very tiny part of your sole. (all while balancing yourself on your left leg) and you don't dare touch the walls to help you balance (unless it's winter and you're wearing mittens)

I've become quite an expert at flushing toilets with the bottom of my right show, besides, nobody wants to touch the handle anyway.

 

I often have to drop trou to pee because i have to be able to pull this pack mule out unfold it 2xs pee, refold 2xs and store!!!!. If i try this in a stall then there would be ball park frank marks on the stall walls!!!!!!

I'm just sayin.....

 

You guys are a trip...

 

Damn Bucky I wish I thought of that one!

 

The Buckster out-thunk us again
He has a mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in most states.

 

Hey I'm just sayin. it is what it is.. I could tell you about my horrible experience in a RV bathroom going down the road at 60 but it ain't pretty!!!

 

 

You guys realize, don't you, that there are women on this forum and you've given away all our little "male secrets/insecurities"?

I would have deleted this thread, but Lovetrucks had already seen it. Once the cows are out of the barn, no point in closing the door. *shrug*

- Jack

 

Okay, so, funny bathroom story.

In a public restroom, standing at a urinal, appropriate spaces between all.

Guy walks in. Walks up to urinal. Unzips, and a split second later lets out a yelp and says . . .

"Wow that water's cold."

Awkward pause.

Everyone is trying not to laugh (and not succeeding).

Maybe it was the way he said it . . . but it was damn funny.

 

Unless your workin at a reststop..kinda unusual. I remember in hs the "special" kids pulled there pants and underwear downt o the ground standing at a urinal. Not trying to be mean it was just a gross surprise when you walked around a corner into the bathroom and see a hairy, zit ridden hyener. ugh!

Buck..thats the nastiest thing i've ever heard on the truck forum. That was quite explicit. lol

 

Dude why was it nasty?? i'm just tellin ya what i go through every time, it gets old man. I usally just find a large forest and do my business there.

 

HAHAHA...
Well im just sayin thats ALOT of detail i couldve done without. I think you should stick with the big forest, that way i don't get dirty mental images and you avoid nasty disease ridden surfaces in the public restroom.. I kno a firehose can be hard to control and it could get unsanitary in this case..

I quite this thread bc i feel gay now..