I was getting tired of all the "convince me to buy a Lightning" so I thought I'd switch it around.

If you were allowed to purchase a Lightning would you regularly smoke the competition at the local street drags? Yes? Okay then I'll let you buy one.

If you were allowed to purchase a Lightning would you complain about using 93 octane and try to use 87? Yes? No go. Go buy a Geo Metro.

If you were allowed to purchase a Lightning would you in time mod it like crazy and talk smack to sport car owners? Yes? Okay, you just bought yourself a Lightning.

 

I promise that if I can have a lightning I will not spit tobacco out the window and that goes for my wife too.

 

"if i were granted the rights to purchase a Lightning"

i would bring a nitrous bottle with me to sign the papers, thus voiding any warrenty.

i would then purchase a built motor and slap a 10lb lower on my stock motor, and wait for my built motor to arrive.

i would hang out at refueling stations and say things like: "Chevy?? not even if it's free!!

i would mount drag radials on the front and back, and drive around town slowly, asking people: "do you want a piece of me?"

so, am i in??

 

Tim,
you mean if you can't have a Lightning you'd "spit your wife out the window"?....THAT my friend is way too harsh dont you think?????????? ....JR
(mac cat less in Seattle)........no mods.....

 

I thought you had a purittan-bennet 65lb bottle in the back of your truck?

 

no medical grade for me,,, i mean the truck. i stick with the industrial "whipped cream" version. dirt cheap, and 99.995 pure "naws"

 

I agree with easterisland, If you have to be convinced to buy a L maybe you dont need one. I bought mine because I thought it would look good setting in the Hooters pariking lot.

 

I went to the track for a SVTOA daytime rental, and was the fastest Ford by over .5 seconds

I put $30.00 of race gas in before I ran

I had mods waiting for the truck before it even arrived

Can I have a Lightning???????????????

 

I think the above qualify. I'll let you keep your Lightnings.
I think anyone crazy enough to spend +-$10K on mods can keep their Lightning.

 

I promise to put as few miles on it as possible (1/4 at a time)
I promise to take as good (or better ) care of it than my wife
I promise (to the dealer) that I have no mods but tinted windows
I promise to charge all my credit cards to the max on:
Shinny badge kits
Go Fast kits
Appearance kits
But no Performance Mods
I promise to wash and clean it more than my bat tub
I promise that every time I drive it (seldom) I will wear the patented Lightning “Chitt Eatin’ Grin” (or is that Eaton grin)
I promise to do my best to do my part to rid the world of “Ricers” (unless two wheeled ones)
I promise to spend more time at work on the forums than actually doing my job
I promise I will buy at least 3 new magazine subscriptions to accommodate my “Lust” for “kits”….not Mods
I promise that I am adding another coat of Zaino to mine and better get back to it…

 

i would do this to it!

 

LOL.... I would never do that!

 

I have a 750 lb, 6-cylinder, 100 HP motorcycle (soon to be Eaton-blown) and I need something to haul it with.

Am I in?

 

OK so I spent the last 4 months compiling MRBBQMAN's Top Ten.....I have turned older and grayer trying to accomplish this tremendous feat!!!!
am I in?????......or somethin'

 

I promise to haul lumber, bags of concrete, and all kinds of other stuff in the bed, just like my red one. I'll try not to get it scratched but if it does...
I promise to wash and wax it, sooner or later.
I promise to buy premium gas, whatever is available.
I promise to drive it.
I promise to replace brake fluid and pads when required.
I promise to avoid concrete walls.